Getting You Ready for Halloween! Part 10.

Well, if you ain't ready for Halloween... I don't know what'll do it. I've tried... believe me I've tried. Here, and after the JUMP are pictures of my Halloween costume from a few years ago. And if you want to recap all the Getting You Ready for Halloweens, just click on the G.Y.R.F.H. at the bottom of this post.

I was, of course, Michael Moore... and my costume of choice was rather timely considering he had just given a speech at Temple. To seal the deal, I carried Top Ramen noodles and underpants in a bag which I threw to the party goers later that night.

Getting You Ready for Halloween! Part 9.

Halloween is one of my favorite scary movies, let alone films of all time. Halloween II is tolerable, only because it ends the story arc of the first film and has Donald Pleasance. Halloween III is an anomaly in that it has nothing to do with Michael Myers (besides the clip of Halloween on TV) but was produced by Carpenter and Hill on the express instructions that it would not be a direct sequel to the first two of the series. The most endearing part of the third installment is the catchy tune that plays for Silver Shamrock masks. I dare you to not sing this little ditty for the rest of the day.

Getting You Ready for Halloween! Part 8.

Its the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown. Actually, its just photographs of ITGPCB on a enormous big screen TV. I've been sick so I'm all backed up on Halloween posts. More crisp animation-ness after the JUMP

Getting You Ready for Halloween! Part 7.

Are You Afraid of the Dark? Are you afraid of this Away message...? Personally, Zeebo the clown is my fave, and you can see why after the JUMP. What's yours...?

WORST WEEK EVAR!!1!

And why you ask...? Cause there's a hundred freakin' shows that I want to attend in the greater Philly area. Following is a list of the venues, dates, and songs I have on my library that IConcertCal picked up on. Take a closer walk with thee:

1. Say Anything - House of Blues (Mon, Oct 28), Atlantic City NJ/ Crocdile Rock (Weds, Oct 31) Allentown Pa.
SONGS* Alive with the Glory of Love, Wow I Can Get Sexual Too

2. the Weakerthans - Troc (Mon, Oct 29), Philly
SONGS* Sun in an Empty Room, Night Windows

3. Annuals - North Star Bar (Tues, Oct 30), Philly
SONGS* Carry Around, Brother, Dry Clothes, Bleary Eyed, Ida My

4. The Go! Team w/ Matt and Kim - TLA (Weds, Oct 31) Philly
SONGS* Silvertiles

5. The Thermals - the Church (Fri, Nov 2) Philly
ALBUM* The Body, the Blood, the Machine

"They're Coming for You, Barbara..."

Inter-office spookiness, without having to watch that videotape.

Aw Nuts...!

Leaves aren't the only things falling at this time of year. Imagine your newly washed and detailed ((insert fancy car name here)) parked under a black walnut tree, twenty feet tall. A squirrel the size of a house cat is nibbling on the branch of said tree and drops a walnut the size of a baseball to the ground below. THUNK! Your car now has some more "character" in the form of a dent. My brother and I and any neighborhood kid with a strong arm threw footballs up into the tree to force the walnuts down. There's nothing like the sound of 10-20 of these things hitting the street. I also recall (reluctantly) particpating in peg fights with these beauties used as ammo. Your hand would literally turn green and smell awful for about three days. Just something to think about, the next time you park your car.

Getting You Ready for Halloween: Part 6!

UPDATES: I plumb forgot to add a final picture to this post, its all the way at the end. Enjoy!

Three or four years ago, I was wallowing in a dead end job at Super Fresh as a Receiving Manager (f' you Conroy). In mid-October, Halloween was quickly approaching and I couldn't think of anything to be. I found myself in the paper goods aisle with plates, napkins and PAPER TOWELS and an image caught my eye. He was tall and broad. He was strong and chiseled, his crisp flannel shirt cutting the brisk Vermont winds. I dreamt that he'd just chased an opposing Lumberjack out of town for poaching woodchucks. He'd wrestle bears... and women. He'd whittle end tables out of fallen trees. He was the stereotypical epitome of a man's man. And I thought... no, I knew at that very moment what I was going to be for Halloween that year. To see the 2nd greatest Halloween costume of all time... you're gonna have to JUMP.

I was, the Brawny man. The case of Bounty towels was a found prop at one of the parties I attended. IMPROV!

Listening to my heartbeat in not the most practical spot, but probably the most fun. I created the girth and length of the Brawny man's ((ahem)) dong by coupling my entire sock collection (along with my father's) with a knee sock and rubber bands. It was a sort of peniscular cotton tube socked Voltron, with each varied part posing little threat on their own, but uniting to form the ultimate super hero (in the pants).

Balancing miller lite can on said ((ahem)) dong. Back then, the Eagles were actually good and also popular.

What the Brawny Man might look like just before having sex with you. And by using the product he so proudly promotes, you'll have easy clean up afterwards.

For those of you born and raised the early 80's... this fine gentlema... woman... whatever he is... should be a breeze for you to identify. If not... cheat. P.S. this guy totally made out with my friend Michelle (angel in picture above) in the backseat of a car I was in... THEY WERE RIGHT NEXT TO ME... I pretended to be asleep.

OH, and you might be asking, "What was the greatest costume of all time, if this one was the 2nd greatest?" One word... WHAM! Happy Halloween everyone.

Getting You Ready For Halloween: Part 5

What's on YOUR desktop... right meow...? Some stupid beer label or some crappy concert montage of Maroon 5. Do you know what time it is...? Do you know where your kids are...? Do you realize that its only 9 days until Halloween...? To get your desktop in the mood, here's two images I shot back in the day. The second one is after the JUMP.

Dumbledore = Gay; Outs Gandalf...

I'm sure you've heard the news by now... but did anyone see THIS one coming. Gandalf the Gay... err... Gray... the beloved wizard from the Lord of the Rings series by J. R. R. Tolkien was outed by former HeadMaster of Hogwarts, Albus Dumbledore. Perhaps they were former lovers, and today's news is just the result of a magical cat-fight gone horribly wrong. When asked to comment on these recent circumstances, the great Merlin did not return our phone calls.