Fit and You Know It!

Sometime next week, after all the candles are blown out and all the cards are read... I'll be 27. That is 3 years from the age of 30. How do I cope with this fact? I take the daily WiiFitness Age challenge. I guess you could classify this little diversion as a mini game from Wii-Sports, the Nintendo Wii pack in game that pits your Mii against three randomly selected sports challenges (baseball, boxing, golf, tennis, bowling). The lowest age you can achieve is 20, and as you can see here I'm well on my way after starting out in the upper 30's. What does all this mean...? Well, as long as there is a Wii-mote nearby, I will live 4-EVAR!!! (aslo see: Wii-Sports Experiment)

We Are the Champions...???

As we approach the beginning of another Phillies season, some prophetic baseball analysts have crowned (apprehensively) our boys as winners of the N.L. East (or the wildcard at the very least). On the subway the other day, I noticed a curious hat, one that seemed to have flipped the old school Phillies P with the baseball in the center, and twisted it into the shape of a question mark. Is it mere coincidence, or does this hat perphectly visualize the question that is on everyone's mind. How good ARE they...? I did a google search and hit up the Lids website with no luck. Has anyone else seen this mysterious hat?

What's 4 Lunch...??? (300)

La-di-da-di-da-di-diddy-diddy-daaaa.

The wife and I attended XPN presents "the Decemberists, with special guests My Brightest Diamond" at the Tower Theater Tuesday night in West Philly. One might say this particular post is a veritable bomb of multimedia content, featuring multiple photographs, links to songs, textual highlights and a film of youtubity goodness. Full details are after the jump off point, so just jump off.

- taking the Frankford Market el is hella inexpesnive/convenient.

- the lead singer or My Brightest Diamond wore a white pants suit. She acknowledged this to all in attendance.

- lead singer Colin Meloy talks funny. He sings funnier. Things he actually says to the crowd = funniest.

- the stage (from row L) looked like this.

- when asked to sing the hook (see headline^)of Sixteen Military Wives the loudest, the LORCH won.

- sitting during a concert makes Jenny Conlee (keyboard) nervous. I believe it was O'Valencia that finally did the deed.

- i think a whale ate the band.

Do You Remember This...???

A long time ago, I was commissioned to make a shirt (look right) as a prize for a beer pong tournament. I have a thing about winning back T-shirts I've created for contests, but on this night... there were two young gentlemen that would not be denied. What's funny is the shirts I printed on were incredibly small. We're talking jammies shirts that would accompany themed Underoos. The one guy, who I think had some serious elbow infringement issues, must use the thing to cover his dong. This may have been the last time anyone ever asked me to make a shirt for some reason or another. Beer Pong and Flip Cup at parties have since become "getting smashed at the bar" and then "sitting at home watching Nick At Night with a lite beer". I can't say I miss it. Okay, maybe the shirts.

Mornin'...

Sometimes everything looks better in the light of a sunrise. Two more after the JUMP.

YOU BEDDAH WORK!!! (on the run-way)

'86 the YouTube volume and listen to this while watching it.

Neither rain, nor sleet...

nor intergalactic space battle will keep the U.S. Postal Service from delivering YOUR mail. Unless you're "rebel scum." In honor of the 30th anniversary of those (good) Stars Wars movies, the USPS will be plopping these "droids" in over 200 U.S. cities. I found mine at the corner of Frontenac and Cottman in the GREAT NORTHEAST (philly). Apparently, there is a set of uber cool Star Wars related stamps coming out too. I suggest our readers write a letter to George Lucas, adorn the envelope with crayon scribbles that slightly resemble boba fet, slap on a wookie stamp, put a return address for the sarlac pit in Mos Eisley, dress up like Darth Maul, hop on a speeder bike, ride to the post office and plop it in this R2D2 mailbox. Just a suggestion. Check out more pics after the break.

They Still Can't Breathe...

A year ago, I caught a report on the delcining health in the majority of workers at Ground Zero. For more information, click here.

Was it good for Lou?

Stop for a moment and think. You're Lou Diamond Phillips. What would you be doing right now? Think... really ponder this one. First of all, your middle name is "diamond." Take that into consideration. Secondly, you starred as Chavez, the native American baddass from Young Guns. Oh, and do the words "La Bamba" mean anything to you? The point is, LDP is a human "meat plow." It doesn't matter what time of day it is. It doesn't matter where you are or what you're doing. Somewhere, Lou Diamond Phillips is nailing a chick.

Free at last! Free at last!

Spring has sprung (someone tell the temperature). Head down to your local Rita's Water Ice-ry and Dunkin Donuts for some free water ice or iced coffee. Dan, thanks for the cold (hot) tip.

Where I'll Be...

tonight, if you need me.

The Last Thing You'll See...

before losing conciousness.

Thunder Interjacen Exclamatio!!!

Yo, Why You Sweatin' Us...?

Caution: KNEE SOX!

4 'tha Roomie...

Bwaaah ahahahahhah hahhhaha.

Sparta is for Lovers.

I lied. Sparta is for fighters. I found this out while watching "300", the most recent film adaptation of a Frank Miller graphic novel which chronicles the Battle of Thermopylae. We follow the story of King Leonidas, who's upbringing tells us that growing up Spartan is really tough. Why, even preconceived babies are denied umbilical chords and forced to survive off amniotic fluid and the occassional stem cell before birth. Then the young warriors are beaten up by their fathers for a couple hours a day and plopped on a mountainside in the middle of winter with nary a Land's End cardigan. It gets worse: your voice changes, you get hair in places its never been and your face resembles something like a Little Caesar's pizza.

The movie is very entertaining and action packed. The fight scenes are beautifully hypnotic and incredibly graphic. I was much more aware of the violence in movies like "Braveheart" or "Saving Private Ryan", two films that displayed death and dismemberment in a matter of fact "this is how it happens" way. 300's use of hi-speed and ultra slo-motion camera work made the more gruesome blows seem graceful, like a fine ballet. Its a process that works, thankfully... because the battles make up about 95% of the film. That being said, the movie is not without its faults... which I'll share with you now in a piece I call, "300 Things I Hated About 300." Enjoy!

1. Aristodemus is the "missing an eye" narrator, also known as Faramir from Lord of the Rings, who decided to speak his lines as if he were my grandfather. Watch this, and mid-way through you'll hear an old codger sing "He faced the galloping hordes." That's how this guys talks through the WHOLE picture.

2. When casting the role of Malian Ephialtes, the deformed Spartan who betrays his kin by helping the Persians, they decided to use Sloth from the Goonies.

3. Frank Miller's dialog doesn't transfer very well to film. In fact, when spoken out loud by a professional like James Earl Jones, the dialog would still be cornier than an ear of corn, on a corn stalk in a corn field somewhere in Corn-onia.

4. Upon leaving the theater, I thought how some American troops might latch onto this film and use it as inspiration for the War in Iraq. But then I realized if anything, the 300 Spartans represent the small band of Al Qaida terrorists that are PWNING the U.S. Military.

5. The original graphic novel had the Spartans completely naked except for their helmets, shields and red cloaks. Having seen numerous nipples and breasts in the film, I felt my girlfriend was robbed of an opportunity to see Spartan dong.

6. The Spartan King is played by Gerard Butler and he looks like this. Um, I don't think so. Even with facial hair, this guy looks nothing like the Leonidas in the film. I was under the impression that Smiley from "Training Day", Cliff Curtis, played the Spartan King. What the F' is going on here...?

7. Apparently, the film is really racist towards Persians. Do those guys still exist...? I have a Persian rug, and it seems nice enough. Maybe the use of Persian goon squad monster thingers was a bit over the top.

8.There's this really jacked old guy who helps the Spartan Queen gain audience with the council so she can get her hubby some backup. Before I saw the film, I read in a review that the Queen bangs this politician to help out her husband. I kept dreading the point in the movie where this really nice old guy slips off his cloak and does the deed, but then it ended up being this whole other politician. And on top of that, the reviewer tells us of that this adulterous subplot isn't even in the graphic novel the movie is based on. It begs the question, "Wouldn't a Spartan rather die in battle than have their Queen take it hard from some crooked(not in the pants) council member?" E'gads.

9. Sin City and 300 are fun, above and beyond most comic book cinematic abominations (Ghostrider). But I fear that with continued success, Hollywood is going to make movies out of everything Frank Miller has ever done, including that short graphic novel he made about his son learning to go number 2 on the potty.

10-300. The trailer for Spiderman 3 preceded "300" and I must say that Tobey Maguire's portrayal of Peter Parker makes me want to bash myself in the face with something blunt. And the CGI is deplorable with effects even worse than that of the first two movies. I'd rather have stop motion animation of the Krakken from "Clash of the Titans" than what we have here. Oh, and apparently the Sandman killed Uncle Ben, not the thief from the original film (and comics). Yeah, and it turns out that Uncle Ben is a black man who's good at cooking rice. Where do you come up with this stuff, Raimi?

Our Spot

Tonight, I'm in the city... with you.

How We Roll

I believe Walter from "The Big Lebowski" said it best. "Fuck it dude, let's go ((glow))bowling."

How He Does It, How I Do It, The Final Result

Haste the Rainbow!

W doesn't just dislike black people.

A Valentine I Found in the Seat Cushion

Andrew, here's to hoping you come home safe... and are wearing this outfit. ((animation))

The Shadow: Chronicles of James Sebra.

The Sixers ran their winning streak to a whopping 5 games yesterday evening at the Wachovia Center. What was watching the game 3 rows off the court and has two thumbs? This GUY! Highlights include Kyle Corver's campaign (alliteration) for 6th man, the glitz and glitter of pro-basketball, and yeoman's work ethic that is slowly pulling us away from the lottery pick. I mean they're really workin' their hi-nees off. Thanks again for the tickets, Joe.

Mornin'...

1...2...3

Down at the WHORE-HOUSE!

Doing anything for dinner this Wednesday? Ew, that's gross... I meant as far as eating. Regardless, I have the place for you. Nestled comfortably on Spring Garden betwixt 10th and 11th, the "whorehouse"(real name Spaghetti Warehouse) combines "Old World Italian traditions with American abundance in hearty, made from scratch dishes." There's crap on the walls ranging from alligators wearing sunglasses to advertisements for hair restoration creams. Throw in a full on arcade, mystery theater show and bar... and you've got something. Oh, and did I mention that every Wednesday night, you eat your choice of spaghetti with endless soup/salad, bread and the chance to upgrade your beverage for just $4.99? Still not convinced...??? Two words: garlic butter.

Now that's one spicy meat-a-ball!!!

If you didn't sing the headline, then go here.

Do You Remember...?

Back in college, HotOrNot.com was all the rage. Get a lot of 10's and you're hot. Get alot less than that, and well, you're not. Anyway, it was the brilliant concept of the moment, that made for a great distraction especially when your graffiti making, bike messengering, coughing and hip hop promoting classmate brought in horribly embarrassing prom photographs. 5.2??? The tribe has spoken.

A Black Eye

Click on the image to magically make it mooove.

T.G.I.F. @ W... W.Y.D.W.T.D.A.M.W.

Rubber Mace!!!

And All I Have to Show For It...

is this lousy T-shirt... ERR, I mean thumb. This is what happens when you download Street Fighter II from the VC and all you know how to do is the Hadouken move. I made it up to the incomparable Raul Julia before quitting!

Our Future Captain...!

Steve Downie is the most exciting prospect the Flyers have had in years for two reasons: 1)He has an outrageous temper that has caused him to star in such films as, "Honey, I Broke my Team-mate's Face" and "Eminem On Ice." 2)When ON the ice, he's an unstoppable game changing force whether providing a timely goal or crushing body check. To learn more about Mr. Downie, go here... but please, wear a helmet.

EVERYBODY GET JACKED!!!

At a Toys R' Us near you, Rocky II figurines. If you think these guys are muscular, you should see the Adrian one.

Tony/Lou/Brent