Getting You Ready for Halloween! Part 10.

Well, if you ain't ready for Halloween... I don't know what'll do it. I've tried... believe me I've tried. Here, and after the JUMP are pictures of my Halloween costume from a few years ago. And if you want to recap all the Getting You Ready for Halloweens, just click on the G.Y.R.F.H. at the bottom of this post.

I was, of course, Michael Moore... and my costume of choice was rather timely considering he had just given a speech at Temple. To seal the deal, I carried Top Ramen noodles and underpants in a bag which I threw to the party goers later that night.

Getting You Ready for Halloween! Part 9.

Halloween is one of my favorite scary movies, let alone films of all time. Halloween II is tolerable, only because it ends the story arc of the first film and has Donald Pleasance. Halloween III is an anomaly in that it has nothing to do with Michael Myers (besides the clip of Halloween on TV) but was produced by Carpenter and Hill on the express instructions that it would not be a direct sequel to the first two of the series. The most endearing part of the third installment is the catchy tune that plays for Silver Shamrock masks. I dare you to not sing this little ditty for the rest of the day.

Getting You Ready for Halloween! Part 8.

Its the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown. Actually, its just photographs of ITGPCB on a enormous big screen TV. I've been sick so I'm all backed up on Halloween posts. More crisp animation-ness after the JUMP

Getting You Ready for Halloween! Part 7.

Are You Afraid of the Dark? Are you afraid of this Away message...? Personally, Zeebo the clown is my fave, and you can see why after the JUMP. What's yours...?

WORST WEEK EVAR!!1!

And why you ask...? Cause there's a hundred freakin' shows that I want to attend in the greater Philly area. Following is a list of the venues, dates, and songs I have on my library that IConcertCal picked up on. Take a closer walk with thee:

1. Say Anything - House of Blues (Mon, Oct 28), Atlantic City NJ/ Crocdile Rock (Weds, Oct 31) Allentown Pa.
SONGS* Alive with the Glory of Love, Wow I Can Get Sexual Too

2. the Weakerthans - Troc (Mon, Oct 29), Philly
SONGS* Sun in an Empty Room, Night Windows

3. Annuals - North Star Bar (Tues, Oct 30), Philly
SONGS* Carry Around, Brother, Dry Clothes, Bleary Eyed, Ida My

4. The Go! Team w/ Matt and Kim - TLA (Weds, Oct 31) Philly
SONGS* Silvertiles

5. The Thermals - the Church (Fri, Nov 2) Philly
ALBUM* The Body, the Blood, the Machine

"They're Coming for You, Barbara..."

Inter-office spookiness, without having to watch that videotape.

Aw Nuts...!

Leaves aren't the only things falling at this time of year. Imagine your newly washed and detailed ((insert fancy car name here)) parked under a black walnut tree, twenty feet tall. A squirrel the size of a house cat is nibbling on the branch of said tree and drops a walnut the size of a baseball to the ground below. THUNK! Your car now has some more "character" in the form of a dent. My brother and I and any neighborhood kid with a strong arm threw footballs up into the tree to force the walnuts down. There's nothing like the sound of 10-20 of these things hitting the street. I also recall (reluctantly) particpating in peg fights with these beauties used as ammo. Your hand would literally turn green and smell awful for about three days. Just something to think about, the next time you park your car.

Getting You Ready for Halloween: Part 6!

UPDATES: I plumb forgot to add a final picture to this post, its all the way at the end. Enjoy!

Three or four years ago, I was wallowing in a dead end job at Super Fresh as a Receiving Manager (f' you Conroy). In mid-October, Halloween was quickly approaching and I couldn't think of anything to be. I found myself in the paper goods aisle with plates, napkins and PAPER TOWELS and an image caught my eye. He was tall and broad. He was strong and chiseled, his crisp flannel shirt cutting the brisk Vermont winds. I dreamt that he'd just chased an opposing Lumberjack out of town for poaching woodchucks. He'd wrestle bears... and women. He'd whittle end tables out of fallen trees. He was the stereotypical epitome of a man's man. And I thought... no, I knew at that very moment what I was going to be for Halloween that year. To see the 2nd greatest Halloween costume of all time... you're gonna have to JUMP.

I was, the Brawny man. The case of Bounty towels was a found prop at one of the parties I attended. IMPROV!

Listening to my heartbeat in not the most practical spot, but probably the most fun. I created the girth and length of the Brawny man's ((ahem)) dong by coupling my entire sock collection (along with my father's) with a knee sock and rubber bands. It was a sort of peniscular cotton tube socked Voltron, with each varied part posing little threat on their own, but uniting to form the ultimate super hero (in the pants).

Balancing miller lite can on said ((ahem)) dong. Back then, the Eagles were actually good and also popular.

What the Brawny Man might look like just before having sex with you. And by using the product he so proudly promotes, you'll have easy clean up afterwards.

For those of you born and raised the early 80's... this fine gentlema... woman... whatever he is... should be a breeze for you to identify. If not... cheat. P.S. this guy totally made out with my friend Michelle (angel in picture above) in the backseat of a car I was in... THEY WERE RIGHT NEXT TO ME... I pretended to be asleep.

OH, and you might be asking, "What was the greatest costume of all time, if this one was the 2nd greatest?" One word... WHAM! Happy Halloween everyone.

Getting You Ready For Halloween: Part 5

What's on YOUR desktop... right meow...? Some stupid beer label or some crappy concert montage of Maroon 5. Do you know what time it is...? Do you know where your kids are...? Do you realize that its only 9 days until Halloween...? To get your desktop in the mood, here's two images I shot back in the day. The second one is after the JUMP.

Dumbledore = Gay; Outs Gandalf...

I'm sure you've heard the news by now... but did anyone see THIS one coming. Gandalf the Gay... err... Gray... the beloved wizard from the Lord of the Rings series by J. R. R. Tolkien was outed by former HeadMaster of Hogwarts, Albus Dumbledore. Perhaps they were former lovers, and today's news is just the result of a magical cat-fight gone horribly wrong. When asked to comment on these recent circumstances, the great Merlin did not return our phone calls.

0 Days and 2 nights...

Ever hear someone say "There's nothing like live hockey..." or "Hockey doesn't translate well on the television, you have to see it live." Or, "It burns when I pee, should I see someone about that?" Well, the first two people are right. Although I do enjoy seeing games on HD tv screens at my leisure, the experience doesn't compare to the real thing. So on Saturday Oct. 13th and Tuesday Oct. 16, I hopped on a subway and headed to the Wachovia Center in South Philadelphia to see the Philadelphia Flyers take on the Islanders and the Thrashers respectively. What did I get out of the experience? An empty wallet, a realization that beer is easily smuggled into the venue, a "Back with a Vengeance" t-shirt, a few smooches (not from Joe) and two big wins. Pictures after the JUMP... go flyers.

The view from Game 2's seats at Center Ice... a first for me. Rach at Finnigan's, formerly the Red Bell.

Awwwww....

Game 2's Three Star Selection... Atlanta actually fired their coach, Bob Hartley, after the game. Oh... and some pie.

The Shredder...

Get it...? The punchline and more videos AFTER the jump (Thanks to the Shadow).

What do all these have in common...? They're over-dubbed... horribly. Rock on.

Flyers Home Opener...

Tonight, the Flyers welcome their fans to the WachOFFia Center in South Philadelphia for their much anticipated home opener against the Islanders (7pm CSN) All those in attendance (that's me) will bear witness to the execution of operation "Back with a Vengeance." Well, hopefully... because paying for a ticket to any sporting event where your team loses really really stinks. Things kick off at 4pm with an outdoor block party in the AT&T Pavilion featuring live broadcasts from 610 WIP, 94.1 WYSP, 93.3 WMMR, and 102.9 WMGK. Have you ever heard of Captain Morgan and the Morganettes? Me neither, but they'll be there too. Giveaways include an Orange T-shirt and magnetic schedule. I have every Orange Shirt they've given out, but ever since the gut-wrenching Game 6 victory over Tampa in the Eastern Conference Finals a few years ago, they haven't really brought the team luck. Anyways, see ya there.

Getting You Ready for Halloween! Part 4.

So last Halloween the wife and I were the 80's band, WHAM! What...? Did I get to be George Michael...? No, no, no... I was the other guy. Click READ MORE for a video of the real thing and let me know how my performance was.

I thought it'd be funny to have my girlfriend dress up like a man... well, a man from Wham! and that during random parts of the party, we could full on make out in front of people who are uncomfortable with homo-sexuality and play on the rumors and whispers we heard about the band for years. I mean, that'd be funny... right? Apparently wrong.

This Here Guy Talks Furnny...

I couldn't ever get into Halo... maybe 'cause it'll never be Goldeneye for the N64. YOU HEAR ME...??? Yahtzee reminds me of the New Yorker, in that he hates everything, only he doesn't seem like such an ass about it.

Everybody Scores... Wooooooo!

Carter, Umberger, King-Briere, and Simon Gagne all score in a horse-race of a first period. I had just called Carter a waste of life for the third or fourth time, when he netted his 2nd goal of the year/in as many games. Umberger gave the Canucks the finger (pinky) by scoring a goal against the team that drafted him. He never played a game for Vancouver, nor the hated Rayn-juhs before coming to the Flyers. Shortly thereafter, he had a sandwich named after him. One negative in the first was a power play assist by the Parent Trap, aka Henrik and Daniel Sedin, with Shannon netting the goal to make it interesting at 2-1. Periods 2 and 3 profiled after the JUMP.

I have a severe man-crush (orange?) on our Power Play. If you had watched even one game from last year's dreadful campaign, you would know that the existence of a dump n' chase on the PP (alot of bathroom humor here)is not a good thing. As Jim Jackson's moustache would say, the power play has "good puck movement" and "tape to tape" passing. Briere breaks into the zone like a young Peter Forsberg on a frozen freshwater lake in Sweden. His assist to Gagne and his top shelf backhander made me want to reach through the screen and choke whoever that doosh was that gave him a post goal cheap shot. It also allayed all my fears of repeating last Saturday. In the waning minutes, I remark to the wifey that "They need to get Lupul started, to get him some confidence."

Lupul scores to open the 2nd. Oh, and the Flyers chased Luongo in the first period and now make quick work of his backup Sanford. Scottie (doesn't know) Upshall sits in with Coatsey and Jackson (no Jonsey) for the 2nd period, and remarks that his bum wrist did not keep him from those important team building exercises. Knuble's mullet re-directs a pass from the point into the net for another Power Play Goal. We're leading 6-2 at this point, I predict some fist-i-cuffs. But then I remember the Canucks don't fight. K.B. with another assist to the Schnoz (Richards) a tap in goal, much like the one to Gagne in the first, and the score is 7-2. On a side note, cheap shot extraordinare Ed Van Impe apparently flew into Vancouver to take in the game.

Third period is rather ho-hum until Jim Dowd's black and blue line asserts itself. Jesse "bowl of rice" Boulerice was looking to turn the game into what a 7-2 blowout should be. His crosscheck to Kessler's face is the result, and somewhere... very far away... Steve Downie's left shoulder starts to burn. Jesse's gone from this game, and the stache remarks "probably more." During the ensuing major coupled with Timmonen's clearing gaffe, Richards breaks away from the pack with two men down and using his patented "I don't care" five hole move, nets his 2nd goal and fourth point of the night. Eager stirs things up in the final minute by bumping Sanford behind the net. 8-2 final with Biron having another strong game.

You asked for a complete game of hockey... 3 periods/60 minutes? Well, you got it. Oh, and remember last season when we hated the term "New NHL"...? What do you think about it now?

At Last, She'sa Mine!

I CANNOT wait to listen to this tomorrow @ work on me bloomin' 'ead-phones. The official email is hidden after the JUMP, so Read More!

Gettting You Ready for Halloween: Part 3.

What could be spookier than winning a mansion in some contest you never entered and finding the place busting at the seams with the paranormal? Why, finding out your brother, Mario entered the same mansion just hours before, and was never seen or heard from again. This is the basic plot of Luigi's Mansion and it goes to show, a world without Mario is a scary place. Just ask all those people that picked up a gamecube at launch way back when. So there I am, bustin' ghosts with Luigi and his 8 lb Oreck in attempts to pull Mario out of this painting/mansion. I haven't beaten Twilight Princess yet and I played Mario Strikers for about 6 hours total, so I really fear for Mario's life as far as this game is concerned. Is it wrong that I love, adore, and obsess about READING gaming info, but really can't find the time/motivation to actually play the games? I know Bobby can relate, and in honor of him I'll close with this: "so they packed up, regrouped, got a grip, came equipped, strapped they proton packs on they back and then split, but now about Viggo, the master of evil... try to battle muh boys? That's not legal! OH OH oh oh oh oh oh ((echo))".

King Briere shines, Flyers Fall...

Hit up the yoooo-tooobe video for highlights of Saturday night's game between the Flyers and Oilers. Biron was a wall in the first, keeping Edmonton off the board in a period where the Flyers were outshot 16-4. Briere is looking better and better in that Flyers uniform, scoring the best looking goal of the year... until he scores his next one. Sadly, the night belonged to two former Flyers scrubs named Joni Pitkanen and Geoff "I'm really fast" Sanderson. I hate Joni... I loathe Joni... and the fact that his stupid face scored a goal, albiet off of Mike Knuble, still burns like something I should see a doctor about. Tim "Itsa Meee" Panaccio is concerned that the Flyers are exhibiting all the troubling tendencies of last year's squad, which is even more alarming considering how much turnover the roster has seen in the offseason. I'm attending the home opener and game two at the end of this week, so keep your eyes peeled for Orange and Black related updates. To close, I have but three words: Jim Jackson's stache.

Good Morning...

OJ... on me.

Getting You Ready for Halloween! Part 2.

What's Orange and Black... and read all over..? Hopefully, my '07-'08 Preview of the Philadelphia Flyers on the 700 level.com (Nosebleeds). Everyone knows about orange pumpkins and candy corns and black cats and witches and crap like that. But did you even know the Flyers played last night??? I hath spakethed before about this country's hate and utter disdain for the sport of hockey, but that won't stop me from being excited for this season. After his clutch performance in last night's 3-2 victory, I might just have to change my proposed costume for the 31st from the obese "Dancing Fan" to Danny Briere. This would involve me buying those new "water-retardant" jerseys. Me likey the road white ones... how about you...?

Getting You Ready for Halloween! Part 1

What are you doing this October? Bobbing for apples? Dressing up like an idiot? Watching scary movies with the lights off and no pants on...? I'm going to share some of the spooky instances I experience throughout the month, starting with this post. I love GHOSTS. My room-mate always makes fun of me when I'm scanning the Comcast menu and click on any show with the letters G-H-O-S-T. So of course I'm a huge fan of GhostHunters on SciFi channel. The boys from TAPS get my "respeck" because more often than not, they're out to DISPROVE a haunting, not fabricate one. In this clip from the season opener (which you can watch on demand under cutting edge/scifi/ghosthunters), Grant and Jason visit and investigate the N. State Psychiatric Hospital for paranormal activity. (new episode tonight on Sci-Fi - check your local listings)

OH HAI.

It's Coming...

For the official website: here.

Drops: Digitally (oct 10) Physically (dec 3)
Amessage from the desk of...

Hello everyone.

Well, the new album is finished, and it's coming out in 10 days;

We've called it In Rainbows.

Love from us all.

Jonny

The site HAD links for purchasing purposes that have ceased to exist. In the meantime, a preview of the new album after you "READ MORE."